19 Months Ago

Noah turned 19 months old today, and for some reason that feels very significant to me. Maybe because next month he'll turn 20 months, and then the numbers will feel closer to two years old. Or maybe it's because he taught himself how to do somersaults recently or that he knows what funny face to make at just the right moment to make us laugh or that I put him to bed in footie pajamas that fit his feet two nights ago, and a few hours later he woke up crying because his feet had grown so much in a few hours that the pajamas no longer fit his feet and his toes were all curled up inside.

Kissing Daddy

I cannot believe how fast time is going these days. I remember when Noah was 4 months old, and he army crawled across a blanket to get to me during tummy time and I stayed up all night crying because he was growing up too fast. I remember I looked through all of his newborn pictures, and eventually I woke Ash up and said through sobs, "Noah's trying to crawl. He's growing up." Ash looked at me, reminded me that Noah was doing what he was supposed to and went back to sleep.

Making silly faces with mommy

That night feels like it was years ago. And now, even though Noah can do so much more, I find myself letting go and going with the flow a lot more. Our relationship is constantly evolving as Noah discovers the world and his place in it, but so far, he always lets me know that no matter what he can do on his own or how much space he needs, he will always love and need me.

People warned me that Noah wouldn't want to cuddle once he became a toddler, but that's not the case at all. He doesn't want to be held all the time like he did as a baby, but during certain times of the day or because he misses Ash or me, he will sit down, hug us and cuddle. We call him the family man because he often isn't happy at night unless he has Ash and me in his eyesight. And he lets each of us know what role he expects us to take in playing with him, feeding him and putting him to bed at night.

Last night, Noah wasn't feeling well. He woke up this morning with a fever, but we didn't realize that because although he felt hot, he was in excellent spirits. He spent two and a half hours in the middle of the night singing, dancing, laughing and telling us every word he knows. We were all tired, but Noah had Ash and me laughing most of the time.

When Noah was a month old we went in for his well baby visit with his pediatrician and his doctor walked in on Ash and me dancing around making silly faces and laughing with Noah. We stopped, sort of embarrassed and she told us that if we remember to laugh as a family, we'd be great parents to Noah. I know he won't always want to laugh with us in the middle of the night, but I'm so glad he does now.