A Family that Fights Together

Yesterday, Ash, Noah and I headed to Annapolis to lobby our legislators about two very important bills they will likely have a chance to vote on this legislative season the Religious Freedom & Civil Marriage Protection Act and the Gender Identity Anti-Discrimination Act.

Noah addresses the crowd

I studied American History in College with a concentration on Race Relations, and while I sat reading and absorbing the courage and strength of so many people that came before us who fought so hard for equal rights for black people and for rights for people like Ash and me to be married, I wondered what made them get involved. Would I have had the courage to stand along side them? It seems silly now to think that anyone could have been against those rights for all people. And almost no one would openly admit they didn't think those rights are deserved.

Ready to make a difference

Last night, in 32 degree weather, I stood outside for an hour waiting for a group of people from our voting district to come together to talk to our legislators about LGBT rights. We were joined by many other Marylanders gathered together to fight for equality. Because of the cold weather, we snapped a few important pictures of our family outside then the boys went into the first building we were going to lobby in, the House building, and waited for the group and me to join them. They stopped by our favorite delegates office to say hi while they waited.

Prepping with daddy

As I stood, holding up a sign with the number of our voting district, I looked up at the statue of Thurgood Marshall standing under pillars that read "Equal Justice Under Law," and I thought about how important the rights of others are to my own rights. The rights we have as a family, and I have as a woman were not always guaranteed, and many people came before us that worked hard to help secure those rights for us. Rights that should have been given to all of us equally from the start.

Our group consisted of people from neighboring districts, and our first meeting was with one of their representatives. He was wishy washy, giving us politician speak, and I sat studying him and his mannerisms waiting for my chance to talk. I immediately realized he was Catholic because of a few key things I saw in his office a plaque that read, God, Family, Country, State, and a key holder that read, Go Irish. I grew up Catholic. The other members of our group spoke about why the bills were important to them. One young man wants a chance to marry his boyfriend, another wants people like that young man to have a chance to marry, a friend was there to support another friend. The delegate remained closed off and neutral. He gave generic non-committal responses. Noah interrupted the others a few times to ask the delegate for the cars he had on his desk. A fire truck, a police car and something else. The delegate thought he was adorable and mentioned it more than a few times. Then it got to Ash, Noah and me, and finally the chance I had been waiting for. As I opened up my mouth to speak Noah asked loudly to nurse. "Nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse," filled the small room. My heart sank. I couldn't nurse him right there, right then, and I didn't want to make him cry.

I realized he was just thirsty so I sent Ash and him off with some water and he ran away happily.

I explained that I want to make the world a better place for Noah, and then I shared a personal story about a transgender person I love (keeping said person anonymous) and I began to tear up. I hadn't meant to. It just happened in the moment. I didn't cry, but the tearing was obvious. I apologized and kept speaking concisely, clearly and with conviction. He stopped me and told me he's an emotional person. Then he began to speak directly to me about being Catholic and conflicted and how he felt people were on board for the Marriage Law but that it was harder for people to understand gender identity because they simply didn't know about it. He told me he has a friend from high school that is transgender. I told him that sometimes you need to love someone to understand that they are just like you. Then, my mind started racing faster than I could filter and I blurted out, "In 40 years when Noah's sitting in your seat," I pointed at his seat, "he'll think it's ridiculous that people didn't always have these rights." He agreed with me. He knows that the future must include these rights for all people.

He told me if the bills come to the House floor he'll vote for them. And then he told me our family reminded him of how touched he felt that the same pen that was used in 1967 to abolish the law that would have forbidden Ash and me to get married was used to pen the new Marriage Equality legislation. He came out of his shell, and I could see I had a breakthrough. I could hear it in his voice. He changed his demeanor and his body language. He opened up his heart and his mind and the words that followed were so different than the ones that came when we first entered his office. He shook my hand extra long and firm when we said goodbye. I reciprocated with a strong understanding grip.

Best sign there: Maryland is for Lovers (since Virginia isn't anymore)

Later, we found out that our State Senator who earlier in the week was undecided is now decided. I'd like to credit the emails, phone calls and faxes I sent for that, but I imagine a few more things influenced him. He's a new yes, and that made me very happy to hear. He couldn't be there last night, so I'll have to continue to call, email and fax.

Our final meeting was with our favorite delegate. When I was a few months pregnant with Noah he went to his second political event (the Inauguration was his first) a town hall meeting she held in our community. She's one of those people that I email and almost always get a reply along the lines that says, "Of course I'll vote for what you want, I wrote that bill." Somehow I still get giddy every time she replies with something like that even though I already know.

She told us that she sponsored both bills and so we were there to thank her for her support but also to share stories with her so she can bring them to the floor with her.

Noah charmed her, and we all spoke about why we care about marriage equality. She nodded and added to some of the things the group was saying. She reminded us, that "When the rights of a few are at risk the rights of all of us are at risk. Anyone could be next if we don't give equal rights to everyone." My heart started to beat faster and then it slowed. I felt at peace.

With our delegate

It was a perfect ending to the day, and so we snapped a few photos with her and then Ash, Noah and I headed out in the cold, back to our car, and home again.

We didn't speak but I could feel our hearts filled with love for each other and for our cause and our heads filled with comfort. Yesterday, we became a family that doesn't just talk about wanting equality, we went out in the cold and fought for it. And we'll keep fighting for it until there are equal rights in Maryland and eventually in the entire country. We have to. Noah's depending on us.