Candle Light Vigil for Chrissy Lee Polis the Transgender Woman Attacked at McDonald's

The McDonald's in Rosedale, MD

Some of the crowd after the vigil

This morning, I found out that there was going to be a candle light vigil at the McDonald's where Chrissy Lee Polis, a transgender woman, was attacked hate crime style.

It broke my heart when I read about what happened at that McDonald's. I care deeply about human rights, and if you know me at all you know that Noah, Ash and I spent a lot of time this year trying to get legislation passed in Maryland that would include certain protections for transgender Marylanders. The Democrats in Annapolis broke my heart twice this year. First when they didn't pass marriage equality and then again when they didn't pass the gender identity anti-discrimination act. While I didn't think the legislation was perfect, in fact I personally think we need fully inclusive legislation that makes sure to include public accommodations, I wanted to see a good first step.

I take it very much to heart when something as horrible as what happened to Chrissy Lee Polis happens in my state. It's weird, but Maryland has recently grown on me. It's the state we lived in when we got married, and the state we started our family in. There is a sense of safety that you think should come with your home, and it was heartbreaking to me to see that things as awful as what happened there could happen right here. The state we live in. The state we'll raise our children in.

I struggle internally with knowing that I know people that have closed hearts and minds. I lay awake sometimes wondering if I can change the hearts and minds of some of my close-minded friends and relatives. And I wonder if I can't if I should associate with people that don't let love flow from them. Sometimes I tell myself it doesn't matter, but it does. People who are not full of love for other people create opportunities for what happened last week. People who don't teach their children to live and let live are responsible when their children grow up with hate in their hearts.

I'm digressing quite a bit. All this is to say. It felt good to go tonight. I met a couple Francine and Evelyn. I chatted with them and their friends for a while about the energy that surrounded us tonight. I traveled about 40 minutes to get to the vigil and the group asked why none of the representatives from my area were at the vigil when other representatives were there. I jokingly told them since our town slogan encourages us to be civil to each other we don't see the need to travel to places where folks aren't civil to each other. Everyone laughed, but we all knew that even though this horrible thing happened close to where I live, unless something happens right in your back yard, it's easy to ignore and pretend it didn't happen.

I'm not going to live like that anymore. I am going to spread love as far as my words can reach. And just know that if you're going to be in my company, that better be what you are on too.